Category: Life

The In-Between

Really young children can say incredibly rude things pointblank and get away with it. Because they’re little. They don’t know better.

Really old individuals can call you the unthinkable right to your face. But that’s okay. Because they’re old; they’ve put in their time. And they forget things.

I’m somewhere in the middle. Where I have to be nice to everyone all the time. Because unlike the old and very young, I should know better and better not forget it.

It sucks.

The Taste of Plastic Milk

There’s something weird about eating milk and cereal off a plastic spoon. I’m not sure how to describe it, but something about how the milk slides on the plastic is just not right.

I avoid plastic spoons anyway as they’re wasteful, but my top reason is not actually the environment. It’s the feeling of eating off of one. Those things are manufactured in Hell, I swear.

Sweet Weekend

Walking back to my desk after a meeting, I noticed all the IT guys seemed to be munching on large bags of candy. Then I came upon one with my favorite donut (chocolate-iced, cream-filled bismark) just sitting there on a desk. Oh! That was a Thursday, and it started up a terrible craving. I wanted to go out for a donut on Friday but wasn’t able, so I told Giant Husband that night that come Saterday morning, we were getting donuts. And that we did. But they looked so pretty, and there were so many options to try, that Giant Husband wanted to buy a whole dozen, and I simply couldn’t say no. That started our weekend of sugar.

Later, when we went out for groceries on Sunday, we decided to grab some lunch at the Costco… deli? I guess it’s a deli. It’s always so busy it must be pretty good. The ice cream and smoothies looked tempting, but we’d already had too much sugar, right? So I waited with the cart while GH grabbed us some sammiches. And what do you know? He also got a churro. A SUGAR STICK!

So he ate that stick of sugar. And not only did it get all over my car and his clothes, it took up residence on his face.

And that was our weekend of sugar, and how Giant Husband got his new nickname: Sugar Beard.

Granny’s Delight

So some coworkers and I were talking about the cut-throat world of bread-manufacturing (not even kidding), and one of them looked up the packaging online. The initiator, the friend of a bread king, realized he hadn’t checked out his friend’s site, and simply googled “granny’s delight.” At work.

GILFs, man. GILFs.

It’s Just Resting

A guy at work told me about forgetting his coffee press in a conference room. He went back and it was gone.

Later, he found it on a table by the copier.

Turns out the table had been moved, and the coffee press simply went with it.

I told him he needs to think like a physicist. An object at rest stays at rest. The item on the table stays with the table.

 

Eyebrows on What?

I didn’t used to worry too much about my eyebrows’ appearance. I don’t have that much in the way of eyebrows anyway, so the thin look was just fine with me. I’d keep them shaped nicely, and well, that was about it. But then bushy became a thing. Now I’m really not fond of the look anyway, so I don’t mind that I simply can’t do it myself, but with this new look came a lot more attention to the once-barely-existent brow. And bushy or not, they now need to be “on fleek” apparently.

So now instead of a simple look to see if the hairs are in place, I must spend more time each morning on my eyebrows. Today I tried to fill them in a bit with an eyebrow pencil. To my dismay, I found that the typical eyebrow shade for blond-haired individuals is actually too light brown for me – mine seem much darker in comparison. So now I have kind of a multi-shaded, defined brow. I’m definitely feeling more brow-ish today. Instead of “yes, I have eyebrows, don’t we all?” I’m feeling more “eyebrows!”

I’m not too sure what on fleek is, but I don’t think this is it.