An empty office.
Relief. Silent. But oh, no.
I was not alone.
Month: May 2018
The In-Between
Really young children can say incredibly rude things pointblank and get away with it. Because they’re little. They don’t know better.
Really old individuals can call you the unthinkable right to your face. But that’s okay. Because they’re old; they’ve put in their time. And they forget things.
I’m somewhere in the middle. Where I have to be nice to everyone all the time. Because unlike the old and very young, I should know better and better not forget it.
It sucks.
Colby Not Jack
Me: I didn’t care for Kelly’s Clarkson’s earlier stuff, but I do like this album. Not as… cutesy/happy as Colbie Caillat or such artists.
GH: Who names their kid Colbie anyway?
Me: People who like cheese?
Who DOESN’T like cheese??
The Taste of Plastic Milk
There’s something weird about eating milk and cereal off a plastic spoon. I’m not sure how to describe it, but something about how the milk slides on the plastic is just not right.
I avoid plastic spoons anyway as they’re wasteful, but my top reason is not actually the environment. It’s the feeling of eating off of one. Those things are manufactured in Hell, I swear.
Cursed
My mother used to tell me God would curse bless me with only sons if I wasn’t nicer to my brothers.
Jokes on you, Mum. I likely can’t have kids.
Isn’t PCOS great?
Bold Look
She wore a short skirt
with loooong, looooong leg hair.
Bold look. You go girl.
Kinky
Giant Husband, while watering plants outside: Is there a kink in the hose?
Me, going to fix hose: Yup.
Giant Husband: This is supposed to be a non-kink hose!
Me: Oh, come on, Honey. Anything can be kinked. Isn’t that rule 34?
Sweet Weekend
Walking back to my desk after a meeting, I noticed all the IT guys seemed to be munching on large bags of candy. Then I came upon one with my favorite donut (chocolate-iced, cream-filled bismark) just sitting there on a desk. Oh! That was a Thursday, and it started up a terrible craving. I wanted to go out for a donut on Friday but wasn’t able, so I told Giant Husband that night that come Saterday morning, we were getting donuts. And that we did. But they looked so pretty, and there were so many options to try, that Giant Husband wanted to buy a whole dozen, and I simply couldn’t say no. That started our weekend of sugar.
Later, when we went out for groceries on Sunday, we decided to grab some lunch at the Costco… deli? I guess it’s a deli. It’s always so busy it must be pretty good. The ice cream and smoothies looked tempting, but we’d already had too much sugar, right? So I waited with the cart while GH grabbed us some sammiches. And what do you know? He also got a churro. A SUGAR STICK!
So he ate that stick of sugar. And not only did it get all over my car and his clothes, it took up residence on his face.
And that was our weekend of sugar, and how Giant Husband got his new nickname: Sugar Beard.
Granny’s Delight
So some coworkers and I were talking about the cut-throat world of bread-manufacturing (not even kidding), and one of them looked up the packaging online. The initiator, the friend of a bread king, realized he hadn’t checked out his friend’s site, and simply googled “granny’s delight.” At work.
GILFs, man. GILFs.
That Looks Komfortable
Nothing says “komfort” like a camper.