I accidentally poured out a bunch of cat treats on the floor when I was giving Catty Whampuss his nightly snack. Catty fervently endeavored to inhale them all while I worked around him to pick them up. As I was apparently winning, Catty resorted to licking as many as possible.
Drive of the day:
Today Giant Husband drove a member of the clergy, we’ll call him Reverend Ron, to the liquor store in the early afternoon. Ron had evidently already had quite a bit of the beverage, but told Giant Husband how he had run out and needed more. He was very nice.
Me: My boobs are too bouncy.
Giant Husband: That is not a thing.
My boss’s boss came over to look at something on my computer. He motioned a lot as he talked about this change or that addition. The problem was, for some reason he was holding a highlighter in his hand as he did this. An open highlighter. No lid in sight. Not only was I concerned he might end up highlighting a word right on my monitor, I was pretty worried about my own person – specifically my brand new top.
Beware of very animated, highlighter-wielding bosses.
We don’t have a pool, in-ground or out of it.
But Sunplay sure wants us to purchase pool maintenance products from them.
Would you stop blowing up my mailbox?
My cat likes to watch me get ready for work each weekday morning. He’ll sit in the hall, staring intently through the bedroom doorway as I get dressed. This leads me to think he may have been a dirty old man in a past life.
One morning as he inched down the hallway to peer at me closer, I wondered what he’d say if he could talk. Would it be “hey, looking good today” like a peeping Tom(cat) roommate, or would he mutter something inappropriate like that perverted character from Family Guy?
Or he is really, truly just a cat, and likely to exclaim “WTF! What the hell did you do with your fur?!”
You’ve heard of fair-weather friends? Well, my cat’s a fair-food friend. He’ll give you the time of day, if you’ve got noms he thinks he wants.
I walked into work the other morning while the wind blew my hair all over creation, as usual (no good hair days where I work). I saw a wasp headed straight for me, and ducked. But unfortunately the nasty creature flew right into my mess of purple hair. And got tangled up in it. What was I to do?? I could feel it, but I knew if I blindly tried to use my hands to help it along I’d likely get stung. Luckily it eventually extricated itself, though I was left with the creepy-crawlies the rest of the day.
This awful incident reminded me of a similar experience years ago.
Once when I was a teen, one of those large wasps with the incredibly long legs got into the house. It was flying around the front window and keeping us from going anywhere near the living room. Well, some of us anyway. So Mum told my oldest bro to get rid of it (in other words, smash it to smithereens!), but my brother didn’t care much for the task and put it off a while – lazy bastard. Thus when he was finally pressured into it, the wasp was nowhere to be found. “Oh well,” he said. “Must have gotten out.” Oh, no it didn’t!
The next morning I got up and got ready for school. I had just stepped out of the shower, toweled off a bit, and was wrapping my towel around myself as I felt some water droplets on my leg that seemed… strange. Something not quite right. I looked down to see that very large, and very wet, wasp sidle down my foot and onto the floor. I was shook, I tell you, and got out of there FAST. And had some very choice, and very loud, words for my brother.
I surprisingly didn’t get stung though. Had I noticed the horrible, stingy thing a second sooner, when it was higher up on my leg, I would have had more time to freak the fuck out before it reached the floor, and I’m sure it would have stung me in panic. Probably in pleasure too, the awful thing.
Needless to say, I’m not a fan of wearing wasps.
You never know what you’ll find on the interwebz. I randomly came across this pic today and decided it needed some commentary. What’s next – shirts for your legs?
Leggings have gotten very popular. Many women even wear them as pants. (Please don’t do this.) Now take your legging-wearing to a whole new level with Top Leggings!
Top Leggings are just like regular leggings, but are specially formulated into the perfect shape with just the right amount of holes to fit your torso. With Top Leggings, the upper half of your body can enjoy the ultimate stretch and comfort your lower half has been taking for granted!
Watching a show about British castles when this guy comes up: James IV.
But wait. Isn’t that Johnny Depp??
Maybe he is a vampire…
