So how do you know if blueberry bagels are getting moldy? They would look the same so… have to take a bite?
A tasty discovery, to be sure.
Blue Moldberries
Tag: food
Home “Cooked” Food in Utah
If you go to any sort of get-together where people bring food here in Utah, it’s pretty much a guarantee there will be jello. Not necessarily regular, ol’ jello, though. It’s seldom plain; something will be added. Usually something strange.
Think Raisins. Shredded carrots. Slivered almonds. Things you would never think to put in jello are common here. Toppings mostly consisting of cream cheese are the norm. Not only do I find most of these very unappealing, I have a hard time understanding how these concoctions ever came to be in the first place. It’s like someone bought all the ingredients for a carrot cake except for the actual cake mix, got home, realized the problem, and figured the box of orange or lime jello in the cupboard would work just as well.
Surprise – it doesn’t.
Please help us, B. Dylan Hollis. You’re our only hope.
All’s Fair
You’ve heard of fair-weather friends? Well, my cat’s a fair-food friend. He’ll give you the time of day, if you’ve got noms he thinks he wants.
Pretty Tasty Animals
Coworker: Is that a caesar salad? I love salad.
Me: Really? You’re the first person I’ve heard say that. I mostly just eat it ’cause it’s good for me.
Coworker: Then what do you like to eat?
Me: Animals.
Coworker: Yeah, those are good too.
Dear McCormick
Dear McCormick,
What did you do to the pure vanilla extract cap? It was absolutely fine for years, and then you changed it. Why? Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to mess with a good thing?
This large, waterslide-like contraption is no good, McCormick! This is vanilla we’re talking about, not vodka. There is no possible way to pore only a teeny bit of anything out of this bottle. And unless you’re like my husband’s brother as a teenager and actually want to down pure vanilla in an attempt to get drunk, you only want a teeny, tiny bit at a time.
And I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t care for this new cap, McCormick. Though I only live with my husband, I have a large family, and whenever one or more of them come to visit we invariably bake sweets. At some point in the process of baking cookies, chocolate lava cake, banana bread, cake, brownies, or any combination thereof, someone will grab the vanilla extract bottle and inevitably proclaim, “What’s with this vanilla cap? It sucks!” And I’ll reply, “Yes, yes it does.”
So I ask you, McCormick, we ask you, to go back to the original design of the vanilla cap. No one wants bad-tasting cookies, vanilla-reeking and stained counter tops, or to get drunk on nasty-tasting alcohol while the oven and mixer are both on. This will only result in lawsuits, McCormick, and death.
Yours in baking,
sweettems
